THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Here is my response to all of these. Love is not any of these things! So, what is love? (And cue song… “baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…”)
Great question! I’m glad you asked. First, let me describe what love is not …it is not an emotion. It is not a feeling. It is not sex. It is not getting what you want all the time.
But love is …a behavior, an action, a decision, a commitment. Love is a choice; it is active, not passive—it’s not just something you fall into. You cannot fall in love. Allow me to demonstrate. Let’s say you are standing on the edge of a cliff and down below about twenty feet is a pool of water. You are contem- plating jumping off into the cool water, but you hesitate. Finally, you decide it is worth the risk and you make the decision to jump in.
Now, imagine you are on that same cliff, looking at the same water. You trip and fall tumbling over the side into the cool water. What is your first reaction? Is it one of elation? Or are you unsure of what is happening and how it will end up? Will you be pleasantly surprised? Or will you wish you had not fallen in, and you claw your way out of the water?
Which do you have more control over? Yes! The first one! At least if you make the decision to jump in, you have some idea of what you are getting yourself into. You make the commitment, and you jump, under- standing there are some things you may not be aware of, like how cold the water is or how deep the water is, but nonetheless, you go for it.
That is how it is with love. We choose who to love, when to love, where to love, and how to love.
The best example of love I can point to is Jesus. In the face of a certain, imminent, painful situation that one could ever be faced with, Jesus chose to become the sacrifice for our sins. He had the oppor- tunity to walk away from an excruciating death. Why would someone choose that kind of pain and torture? Because he was driven by love for us. That’s right! He realized that from out of that painful circumstance, a way would be paved for us to have a personal relationship with God. Jesus had a choice to make, and he chose love.
So, what is love like? Scripture defines it for us in 1 Corinthians 13:4–13. Paul provides some particular qualities that identify love.
Love is patient. When you are faced with a situation where you just want someone to realize you are there for them even though they make it difficult. Patience is an act of love.